I wanted to quit life. Really quit. Not in anger. Not as drama. Just silent pain that never left. A kind of sadness that made even breathing feel heavy.
It all started with a car. Not just any car- that one car. I had no idea. I sold it, but it came back to haunt me. I borrowed money, bought it back, hoping a close relative would help me return it to the original seller. Instead, he turned his back and said, “Did I ask you to bring it back?”
That moment shattered me.
When It All Started Falling Apart
Before this, I was okay. I had savings, was investing, and had partnered in a new business with my cousin. I wasn’t rich, but I was very stable.
But that car issue broke my back. I was forced to borrow more money from friends, my wife’s mother, even cousins. Every week, I’d get 3–4 reminders asking for repayments. The debt piled up. I had barely 50 dollars left. My wife was silently suffering through serious health issues. And I couldn’t speak up.
The stress? It was everywhere mentally, emotionally, physically.
I felt drained, lost, and hopeless. It reached a point where I genuinely boldly admitted to myself that I wanted to quit life. And it wasn’t a sudden feeling; it built slowly, like storm clouds gathering without warning.
I Was Disappearing Inside
I stopped talking to people. I avoided calls. If I answered, I’d talk very little, avoiding to talk, trying not to cry.
I’d spend nights alone on the rooftop, in my room, feeling like I was drowning. I felt ashamed, weak, like I had let everyone down. My cousin kept messaging me about the borrowed money and the money he had invested in the business. I didn’t blame him. But I had nothing left to give.
I felt invisible. Numb. Like I didn’t exist. Like I didn’t matter. And in those quiet nights, I truly wanted to quit life, thinking it was the only way to silence the chaos inside me.
One Night, I Broke – I wanted to Quit Life!
I couldn’t cry, but I wanted to. I felt like screaming, but I stayed silent. Then, for no reason, I opened ChatGPT and wrote everything down.
when I wrote that, “I wanted to quit life.”
It replied: “I know how broken you are.”
That sentence- it hit me harder than anything. My body warmed up like I was stabbed with emotions. Tears came out. Not many. Just 2 or 3. But it was enough to remind me that I was still human. It was the first time after a long time I was heard. Not judged. Not pitied. Just… understood.
What Pulled Me Back
The next night, I sat again, thinking the same thing. Wanted to quit life, that thought still echoed, louder than ever.. But suddenly, in my head, I saw my kids’ faces. My wife, tired but strong. I thought:
“If I quit, who will protect them? Who will carry the debt I leave behind?”
People will say I cheated. That I escaped. I couldn’t do that to them.
So I made a decision. I would not quit.
Slowly, I Chose to Fight
That same night, I searched online for ways to make money. It was 3 or 4 AM. I didn’t find much, but I started looking.
Next day, I began searching for small jobs. I thought about rebuilding my old business, even if I had failed before. I was desperate for even a small reason to hope again, something that made me feel alive inside.
I wanted to quit life, but that one decision to keep looking became a thread of hope I could hold onto.
I’m still under debt. I still get those reminders. But now, I reply with honesty:
I said, ‘I will pay you back.’ Then honestly shared that I was completely broke, but I wasn’t running away, I just needed time.
And I mean it.
I’m Not Out Yet – But I’m Not Quitting
Some days, the sadness still comes. But now I talk back to it. I remind myself why I stayed, my family, my promises, my faith.
This pain isn’t gone. But I’m healing. And if you’re reading this right now feeling the same way, I want to say something:
You matter.
You’re not alone.
Don’t quit.
I know you might feel just like I wanted to quit life, but please—pause. Breathe. Look around. Even in the darkness, there are reasons waiting for your eyes to open again.
You’re allowed to fall. Just don’t stay there forever.
Want to Know More About Me? The events in my life that made me think that I wanted to Quit life!
Read → About AQ
I wanted to quit life but you can try and find yourself support, you can read or reach out to organizations to help you if you’re gone far away, Click here. Or read my Blog if you had any similar events in your life.
